This conversation happens too frequently. I've heard stories from artist friends, carpenter friends, tattooist friends, photographer friends, and reader friends, just to name a few.
It always starts out with a "Hey" after months or longer of radio silence. Then, rarely a "how are you" but more of an, "I need something", which is fine, you want to be there for your friends, but at what point is not considered a friendship, since it's so one-sided?
If it happens once, it's certainly forgivable, but repeatedly, that's a pattern and if you continuously answer it, are you then enabling it to continue further? Where is the line drawn? Are you to build a cabinet for every person who asks without compensation? Create a logo? Tattoo them? Bake them a cake? Fix their car? Do a reading? When this is your livelihood? Setting that boundary is so hard to do with friends, but it's necessary.
I can't tell you how many readings I've done for friends that then make me feel like I was used for my services, as the friend is then not reciprocating the friendship. Usually, I'll not hear from the person for a few months a least, usually longer. And I'm not referring to the friends who have busy lives so they have to focus on their work, family, what have you. Those friends who randomly text you because they're thinking of you, or send a quick message or social media comment checking in on you, that's not what this is about. I'm talking radio silence from this service seeker. They only ever reach out when they need something, or if you have a loss, they'll send condolences, but never a "hey, how are you?" or anything similar.
In setting these boundaries, for me, and you can certainly do the same, all of these requests will be directed to my business and I will no longer encourage or enable this behavior. Hoping those of you will similar stories will not feel alone and will also set your own boundaries as well.
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